Online communities provide crucial support and guidance for women embracing their sexual identities later in life, as demonstrated by the experiences of individuals like Suzette Mullen, Christine Terpening, and Anne-Marie Zanzal. The increasing visibility of late-in-life lesbians (LILLEs) online reflects a broader trend in rising identification rates and the evolving role of digital connectivity in personal journeys of self-discovery.
Suzette Mullen, an author and Harvard Law graduate, came out as a lesbian at 54 after two decades of marriage and raising two children. Living in Montauk, N.Y., she initially turned to online communities, such as private Facebook groups, for support and guidance. These digital platforms have become crucial resources for women confronting their sexual identities later in life.
Mullen wrote about her journey in her memoir, “The Only Way Through Is Out.” She is part of a growing number of late-in-life lesbians (LILLEs) who are finding community and understanding online. This trend is not limited to the U.S.; Miriam Grace, a psychotherapist based in Britain, surveyed over 2,000 LILLEs for her book “Queering Gestalt Therapy,” shedding light on the varied experiences of women identifying as lesbians later in life.
Christine Terpening, a former rodeo cowgirl from Vermontville, Mich., and Anne-Marie Zanzal, a minister in Nashville, also found support through online networks. These women highlight the evolving role of social media in providing a safe space for questioning and identifying one’s sexuality, something that physical spaces like bookshops and bars used to fulfill.
The increase in online resources is paralleled by rising identification rates among women. A recent Gallup poll indicates nearly 15% of LGBTQIA+ Americans identified as lesbians in 2023, up from about 12% in 2020.
Online networks continue to be pivotal, showing the importance of digital connectivity for individuals navigating significant life changes.
